Elsewhere (widely observed, and increasingly difficult to ignore), an increasing number of flamboyant, glitter-adorned individuals have been seen coming and going from the newly completed Rosehip House Apartments.

Residents in the Morningside area have expressed a mixture of curiosity and admiration, with several noting a noticeable rise in “sparkle levels” during the morning hours, accompanied by what one onlooker described as “enthusiastic jazz hands.”

Another neighbour was heard to remark that they had “never seen so much satin before breakfast.”

While no official statement has been issued, it is widely understood that Rosehip House is now home to a number of recently retired performers.

Morale remains high and the situation continues to develop.